Don’t Worry
picture by © brucecombs
Leave Worry and Negative Thoughts Behind
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4 Tips To “Living In The Moment” — by Catherine Morgan
We all carry around stress and worries about problems in our lives, some of us more than others. If you are one of those people that can’t stop worrying about all the problems in your life, then this article is for you. Worrying about our problems only adds to our problems, and no amount of worrying about a situation is going to make it better. Letting go of negative thoughts and worries is an important step in our overall happiness. Hopefully these steps can help you get passed some of the problems that have been bothering you, and allow you to let go of the negative thoughts that block you from your true happiness.
STEP ONE: IDENTIFY THE PROBLEMS
Take some time and write down all the problems that have been bothering you. Write each problem on a separate piece of paper, make sure you cover ALL the problems, the big ones and the little ones. For 10 problems, 10 separate sheets of paper. Do this when you have some time to really get a complete list together — Sometimes going to bed a few minutes earlier than you normally do, can be a good time to do this, and provide you with the quiet time you need.
At this time also write down the reasons for wanting to solve this problem, and what you hope to achieve by resolving it.
STEP TWO: WHAT ARE ALL YOUR OPTIONS FOR EACH PROBLEM?
I recommend that you start with the small problems, and work your way up to the more serious problems. So, you will be taking one of your sheets of paper, with one problem on it, and work through the rest of these steps. Don’t try to work each step with every problem at the same time, this doesn’t allow for your complete awareness and attention to each problem. Working with the small problems first, will give you a chance to become comfortable with these steps, and help you become confident in your ability to solve your problems.
So, lets go. You are now looking at the paper with one of your problems on it. Just start writing down every conceivable solution or option available for this problem, even the ones you don’t think you would consider. This could be as little as two, or as many as ten, depending on the problem or situation. Remember that the more options you give yourself, the better.
STEP THREE: WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF EACH POTENTIAL SOLUTION?
Depending on the difficulty of the problem you are working on, you may be able to do this step in your head, or if it is helpful, you can write this step down as well.
What is a consequence: the logical or natural outcome to an action or condition.
Now, look at each option or solution you have come up with for this problem. What are the consequences of this option? Is it something that would make this problem worse? Or create another problem? If so, cross out that idea as a possible solution to this problem. Continue to consider the consequences of each idea, until you have covered each option.
Try to remember that there will most likely be consequences to all of your ideas. It may be a matter of finding the solution with the least consequences, not necessarily no consequences.
STEP FOUR: MAKE YOUR DECISION
Now that you have all of the important information about your problem and the possible solutions, it’s time to make a decision on what you are going to do. What is the best solution to this problem?
Once you make your decision, plan on implementing the solution as soon as possible. However, don’t discard your papers on this problem just yet. Make sure the outcome goes the way you expected, if not you may need to re-think this issue again, so keep your work. You may even go back to this problem and realize there was something about the situation you hadn’t considered. This is why keeping your work is important.
Well, I hope you find these ideas helpful. You may also want to check out FOUR TIPS TO LIVING IN THE MOMENT and FIVE STEPS TO FORGIVENESS.
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How Do You Know If You Are In An Abusive Relationship? What Do You Do If You Are? Links, articles, and YouTube video.
picture by © strflt
If you or someone you know is in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, there is a lot of information available and people that can help. Below is an article and links to help you understand domestic violence and abuse, and to find help. You are not alone.
Spousal Abuse Still a Problem for Women – from blogs by women
According to a recent survey, approximately one in four women over the age of 65 have been abused either sexually, physically, or psychologically. Furthermore, a survey of 370 women showed that approximately 26.5% of women experienced some form of violence from their partner and 3.5% of these women had undergone this abuse within the past 5%.
These statistics demonstrate that, although women have come a long way in the last several decades, many are still choosing to remain in relationships with abusive mates. This is often because the abusive spouse or mate will go through periods of time during which he is kind and reminds the woman of the man she fell in love with. These sneak peaks into the once kindhearted man she knew causes the woman to hang on in hopes that he is finally back for good. In addition, many women make excuses for their mates and actually justify the abuse they suffer.
Fortunately, the number of resources available to a woman suffering from abuse is plentiful. Of course, in an emergency situation, a woman can dial 911 in order to get help. But, she can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The hotline is available 24 hours per day, ever day of the year. By calling the hotline, women suffering from abuse will be referred to nearby agencies that will provide them with help and a safe haven – this includes women that are fleeing from abuse along with their children.
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DOMESTIC & FAMILY VIOLENCE SIGNS YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Information On Domestic Violence
How Do You Know If You Are In An Abusive Relationship?
Warning Signs Of An Abusive Relationship
Teens And Abusive Relationships
Helping A Friend In An Abusive Relationship
Information For Women On Child Custody
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women 4 hope 
Olga said
good blog
Catherine Morgan said
Thanks Olga.
Kristin said
your blog will no doubt help many people. great job!
Catherine Morgan said
Thanks so much Kristin, I hope and pray that you are right.
Neda Maher said
Dear Catherine
I’m an Iranian woman.Today when I search for some articel about woman,I find your weblog.I think it is great. I hope that you will be successful.
Catherine Morgan said
Thank you Neda.
Terry Grahl said
I hope my project and video will inspire you to pass it on to others. I want the ripple effect of giving to continue all over the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX1hD5gQYGc The Pursuit of Hope
Terry Grahl believes in divine intervention.
In the past six months, she’s worked with close to 100 angels.
Earlier this year, the 39 year old interior decorator and owner of Terry’s Enchanted Cottage in Taylor, Mi. was asked by a friend to help women battling homelessness and abuse.
Grahl made a visit to their shelter in Pontiac and left inspired.
“I walked into a bedroom, which the women share,” she said. “It was as if the room was screaming out, ‘Save me!’ I knew I had found my calling — a passion and purpose.
“The used nursing-home bedspreads could not comfort them on days when they just didn’t want to go on. Stained towels, sheets, mattresses and pillows reminded me of how their souls must feel.
“David Iafrates, the owner of International Bancard Corp., heard about my work as an interior decorator and contacted me about the shelter.”
Admittedly, Grahl is not “an ordinary interior designer.” She said she decorates dreams. Through Terry’s Enchanted Cottage, which she started in November 2005, she helps people design their homes in the style of bygone eras.
She credits her creative inspiration to her mother, Lesley Skog of Taylor, and her brother, Todd Skog of Royal Oak.
“I believe cozy surroundings not only inspire, but help us thrive,” Grahl said. “When I left (the shelter) that cold, wintry day, I was determined and inspired to help 50 battered women who live at the shelter with their children.”
Grahl said most residents are in a yearlong program, recovering from drug dependency and abuse.
With the help of her sister and assistant, Tracy Garrett of Taylor, the two volunteered to perform a massive makeover.
They dubbed the project “Hopeful Haven.”
Grahl, who said before this project she used to be shy, contacted professional painters, artists and area businesses, and raised close to $200,000 in donations, furniture and equipment to revamp the dilapidated living quarters.
“I sent out e-mails and letters and made phone calls to people I thought would help,” she said.
Grahl admits she heard the word “no” more than once, but that didn’t deter her.
In March, several businesses sponsored a fund-raiser, donating 100 percent of the proceeds to the project.
Participants included Pure NV Salon and Spa in Taylor, along with 12 Curves for Women locations, including Brownstown and Huron townships, Trenton and Woodhaven.
Grahl’s brother, the owner of Todd’s Room in Birmingham, offered brow shaping for $25.
One time while visiting the shelter, one of the residents referred to Grahl as an “angel,” but the modest mother of four said the real angels are the contributors who helped make the makeover a success.
On June 18, the women’s bedroom at Grace Centers of Hope received a garden-style transformation.Grahl believes gardening satisfies cravings for fresh air and sunshine.
“Gardening soothes our souls and replenishes our spirits,” she said. “When we garden, we learn to appreciate the rhythms of the seasons and the patience to wait for spring flowers to bloom, for summer vegetables to ripen on their vines.”
A long list of the “angels” who made a difference is posted on her Web site, http://www.terrysenchantedcottage.com
“I call them angels because I believe God sent them,” she said. “Ninety angels from all over the world, including Australia, donated to this makeover. A very, very large furniture store in Michigan that wants to remain anonymous donated all the bunk beds, baby cribs and carpet.”
A professional painting company donated its services to paint the women’s bedroom and stairway, she said, and Masco Corp. donated all the paint.
“Color has the power of bringing inspiration and daydreams to life. MCM Management Corp. donated all the material to revamp the women’s bathroom. The total cost was $7,000.”
Bondy’s Ceiling Fans & Lighting in Southgate donated ceiling fans and lighting.
Grahl said she was determined to create a bedroom that would enable the women to awakento a room that would remind them every day: “I am precious. I am worthy. I am not a victim. I have the power to stop the torch of abuse and addictions from being passed on to my children.”
She crafted a homemade sign for above the women’s front bedroom door. It reads: “Hopeful Haven.”
“This sign represents a brand new chapter in the women’s lives and the spirit of the room,” Grahl said.
But beyond the new color, carpet, bedspreads, new beds and the new lighting, Grahl believes the most touching thing found in the room are photographs of the women who currently live at the shelter.
“They were placed on the wall so that all the future women who find their way to safety will know there is hope,” she said.
The artist admits she even learned a little bit about herself in the transformation.
“I believe in myself more,” Grahl said. “I didn’t realize how much strength I have. I have always been shy, but even a raindrop can make a ripple effect.
“I want everyone to know that all it takes is one person to say, ‘I want to make a difference.